The joy of solitude (or: alone but not lonely)

To-day I did something I have NEVER done: I enjoyed a walk by myself in a wood. I had an appointment in a house in the middle of the country (to do with improving my health,... again!), and there was an hour's delay before I could be seen. So I decided to go for a walk up the hill in the wood behind the house. Nothing extraordinary in this you may think. Well for me it was! I had the most thrilling feeling of being complete, of not needing to talk to anyone, not craving the presence of another human being. It was an exhilarating experience.

As I was walking up the hill in the thick of the trees, quite alone, I suddenly thought: I don't feel any fear, how nice is that?!

It reminded me of an exercise we did on a spiritual retreat once, which consisted simply in being focused, but then absolutely focused in the instant. Thus the wood revealed to me its myriad facets, thus I could just walk, up a hill, with nothing on my mind but what met my senses.

It was muggy and I could smell the organic damp of the undergrowth, the huge mushrooms, in their hundreds (oh that I knew how to tell the yummy-eaty ones from the killy-throwy ones!), the lovely rotting smells of fallen trees and moss.

A wood, left to its own devices, is incredibly untidy: fallen bits everywhere, new growth higgledy-pickeldy, tangles of brambles, and fronds of ferns, heaps of fallen chestnuts in their prickly burr.

Ha! real chestnuts, which grew there, fell there and which with an expert roll of the sole of my shoe I separated from their hedgehog covers; the little ones, a bit withered, I am sorry to say those I left for the squirrels and other small creatures of the wood, but the shiny fat round ones, I tucked safely in my coat's big pocket, and have just finished eating, just before writing this. They are probably the fuel which powers this typing...The whole house smells of roast chestnuts, and I am the Queen of my castle.

As I was searching for one perfect autumn leaf to bring away as a trophy, I realized that most of the leaves were, somehow, a bit less than pristine, and yet that the overall effect was of subtle harmony. That's why I love nature: no matter how disheveled, or imperfect the parts, the whole always blow me away by its perfection. All the colours always match. May be that's what the sheep in the field next to the wood were reflecting on as I stood there singing them a little song...(that's something I do, sing to cows and sheep...and I have it on good authority that I am not the only one...so there!)

I am off to sing to myself, the pleasure of having discovered that I am now able to enjoy my own company -whatever the sheep may have thought of my singing!

Signing off especially for Paul: "TREEEEEEZ!"

PS (and sincere apologies for this PS): Anyway it was better to do what I did than to cry about the result of the American elections, no? (Don't Americans realize how uneasy that steradent makes the rest of the world feel????? And that is even without considering his politics ) Oh well, I guess we can just all go up in a puff of smoke together...

Have a nice day! Anyway! I did....