Sunday, hey? and August, yeah?

I don't know! One minute you're making new year resolutions and the next the cashier in the supermarket is asking you if you would like to buy saving stamps for ...I can't even bring myself to write the word at this time of year! By the way, the shop will give you the equivallent of a magnificent 2% over 5 months and in exchange you will agree to spend your money there! It's what my late first mother in law -who was German- called "eine Grosse Betruge" I think!

On another tack, my new year resolution was that I would not make any promises. No promises at all, to anyone, for a whole year. Do you think that this is possible? In my experience, it is not. That's because a sense of responsibility and commitment are perceived by others as promises and I, for one respond to others'expectations as if they were legitimate.

However, every time you do something for someone a new set of expectations is created . If you chose not to fulfil that expectation, it's just like breaking a promise. I get asked for help a lot, (that's because I am a helpful sort); and I do find it difficult to say no, (that's because I want to be liked); but I am working on learning to say no...It's a daunting task, and still I find that assumptions made about my willingness to do this or that as imperative to me as if I HAD made a promise. HOLD ON! I say, you do remember my new year resolution! Others must not hold me accountable for their designs on my time.

This is not addressed to anyone who is likely to read this blog, the above ramblings are by way of confirming in my own mind, my own decisions about my own actions. In that same vein, I have developped a new strategy:

A- You know your friend the plumber?
me- Yes, I do!
A- Can you ask him if.....a,b,and c....blah, blah, blah...?
me- you have his number, why don't you explain this to him directly?

Plumbers are in such demand, you wouldn't believe it (plumbers, cleaners and gardeners, too!). I carefuly foster my singing relationship with my friend the plumber. His voice and mine go very well together and we both like singing impossible jazz tunes with more change of keys than the tower of London.
"Our" piano player would like to be able to play them!

Change of toppic: my mother died a year ago. I am still expecting her phone call every Sunday at 12: I suppose that's one way to keep connecting with her. I found some paper with her hand writing on, yesterday, bang on cue for the 1 year anniversary. When she died, I also knew to the exact second: I interrupted my shower to phone the hospital and I was told she had just left this world. It's ok though. She wasn't a happy person and she couldn't see a way forward in that life of hers. When thoughts of her come to me, I ask myself if they are helpful or detrimental to my well being, and that's why I just put the little piece of paper in the nearest bin and did not indulge in any more thinking about it.

To continue this mixed bag of a post: I'm off to Paris to-morrow: sorry to say I succombed to my own internal pressure and bought a new pair of trousers for the occasion! I think they are smart enough to silence the family's criticisms...but you never know. I shall be angelic and kind and pretend I don't hear! I am also delighted that i shall be able to visit one of our meditation centers on Tuesday morning!

But nough of nothing much to say for to-day, much love and soon come back,

Jocelyne