News and views

My news is good! It's taken a long time (more than a week) to be able to take the "effort test" which was needed to find out what is wrong with my heart. Done it to-day and although I could only walk on the treadmill for 4 and half minutes, -so steep and so fast was it-, the results are sufficient to be reasonably sure that there is no lasting damage to my heart or indeed any narrowing of arteries.

Mind you, I would have been very cross to have a narrowing of the arteries, because I have not smoked a joint or a cigarette in years...not drank any alcohol for nearly four years (and not because of fighting alcoholism, but in order to be able to meditate at will...), nor eaten any meat for at least as long as that. So the risk factors are not great, really!

The funny thing is, that apart from thinking how good it would be to die in my own country,-ah! la belle France!, when I thought I might be dying...that is - thought which took me somewhat by surprise, well apart from that, I have been quite remarkably calm.

There is a mental thing I have been taught which is called "having a determined thought" and which is a cross between being a mad optimistic and acutely stubborn but which operates from a place of steely strength, a decision made irrevocably, even when one does not have control of all the factors involved, or indeed any of the controls of any of the factors, other than that will. It was like that with my determination that the test would take place within days rather than the expected weeks. And it worked! Again!

One of the first time I held out against systematic lunacy was when my car had been clamped because I had not displayed a parking slip. That car park had previously been a free car park and I had not intended to defraud anyone or to cheat the system, since I was not aware of the new requirements. When the clamping chaps immobilised my car, the only thought I had, as if printed in huge red Strongbad letters all across my brain was :I AM NOT PAYING A PENNY. The chaps argued, "impossible, got to pay, impossible to remove shoe off your tyre without payment.etc.etc."; all I heard was Blah blah blah blah. I spoke to a lady in an office informing her that I would NOT be paying and they may as well have my car but I would NOT pay etc. "Impossible, you've got to pay etc" I heard blah blah blah blah blah blah, and I thought I am NOT paying you a penny! Well, I am not so pleased with what happened next, because it is a bit embarrassing...in a small way... but I had an asthma attack. It was neither completely real, nor completely put on: I was pretty upset by then. I had only gone to that car park because of a shop where I could buy a toothbrush holder a little bit cheaper than in any other shop. (We are talking 50 pence or so!!!and the "fine" was £92 + £6 for using a Visa card if you didn't have the cash: I tell you, it was a horrible thought)

Still all I would think was I will NOT pay a penny....you can guess what happened? The lady came back on the phone -the cell phone of the chaps who had the power to unclamp my car- and told them to set my car free.

And I did NOT pay a penny!

Meanwhile, I saw three people part with the extortionist sum demanded...by the way!

Later on that day, I was regaling my friend Danièle with the story and she told me that she had in fact also been caught in the parking trap at that same place, that same day and had paid the fine. Though, I am jolly sure that if she had had the time, like I did...

Why am I telling this story? Because I intend to carry on with determined thought for all the difficult moments of my life. Because I do believe each one of us had much hidden power, much power to resist and even break unfair systems, systems which make light of our integrity, systems without logic and without compassion.

Because we all individually have an absolute right to have our integrity respected by others and by the systems which we, human beings have set up within any given society.

So, yeah! Hurray for determined thought!

They were very pleased to see me again at the Hindi evening class, and I was pleased to see that The Brain was still doing its elegant stuff when it came to languages.

I have a new ambition, now that I am 56. I plan to study music in a more systematic way, so that I know if the titles I download on Kaaza Lite are what they say they are: I have had some Beethoven which was pure Mozart and vice versa...I'm sure. I knew that, but I'm sure also that sometimes I think I'm listening to No 536 and I'm in fact listening to No 234!!!If you know what I mean: opus wise!

What a joy to think that learning CAN be infinite! I plan to learn right up to my eventual demise, with a determined thought that no senility will take place. (My maternal grand mother died completely aware and intelligent at the age of 96 and a half after saying goodbye to me on the phone and accepting the permission to leave I soft murmured to her, and my father's mother was completely sane when she went at 97! So there is much hope on that score...and much learning still to be done.

Well take care of your grey cells: avoid bombarding them with too much of the old bad stuff, and enjoy the results.

Warm, healthy-heart felt greetings of universal peace,

Jocelyne